GET ME OUTTA HERE (ONCE AGAIN)*

 

I really needed something different today

Like some notes from a melody

Never heard before

Instead, pounding at my head

Was a cacophonic fire truck siren

Accompanied by my dogs howling anxiously

 

I wanted color peeking through the

Greenery never seen before

Just something

Something different

Because it was like being in

Doctor Who’s Tardis but

It wasn’t bigger on the inside

Just small and smothering

 

So I walked over to the backyard fence

Smelling odd, unidentifiable odors

Like dead swamp animals

Part of the 90 degrees

Live Oak leaves

With wilted trees

And once-proud shrubs

Mutilated by yesterday’s lightning

And slashing rain

 

Worse, I noticed

Sap from a dying Schinus Terebinthifolius

Meaning no Brazilian Pepper branches

For the Winter Solstice

How I nursed it until it grew

All those beautiful red berries

Brightening my meager offerings

I owe the tree so much

And want to give it a respectful burial

Carrying it into the swamp keening and singing

While covering it in years of

Decaying, mulched matter

Cannot bear to cut it down

So I lean against it, gently pushing it

Back to Mother Earth

What’s a life worth?

 

Oh, what is wrong with me?

I love life so much

But not today

Cannot see or hear or even feel anything

Yet it’s a beautiful day

But I don’t know where to go

I feel lost standing in a place

Usually loving it under such beautiful flora

I have enough to eat

I have enough to buy something fun

There is no worrying war

The sky is blue and

All the elements are behaving

But I don’t feel like I’m home

I need to find home

And I don’t know what to do…

 

*Florida summers give me cabin fever

 

© 2024 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)

IMAGES: Dead Brazilian Pepper tree/

Brazilian Pepper Branches from the tree last December